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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

25 minutes ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

Spotted on Threads:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

Just landed via Twitch:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

6 months ago

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

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Commentary:
Ah, the beautiful game of soccer – where 11 sad men reluctantly hand the ball over to the other team, who are the happy ones skipping away with joy! ⚽😂 It's a true tale of teamwork, persistence, and the fine art of nagging until harmony is reached on the field! 🤝 #SoccerReversedGoals

along, backwards, getting, getting along, happiness, happy, humor, men, nagging, perspective, sad, sadness, soccer, watch

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

25 minutes ago

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

Just shared via Snapchat:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

Just shared via Reddit:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

Going viral on Snapchat:

Avocado is just green butter.

Reported on YouTube:

Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

Trending via Facebook:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

Breaking via Instagram:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

Just shared via TikTok:

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

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