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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,671

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

Trending via Reddit:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

Just landed via Pinterest:

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

Just shared via WeChat:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Live now on Slack:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

0
If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.
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Commentary:
Ah, the beautiful game of soccer – where 11 sad men reluctantly hand the ball over to the other team, who are the happy ones skipping away with joy! ⚽😂 It's a true tale of teamwork, persistence, and the fine art of nagging until harmony is reached on the field! 🤝 #SoccerReversedGoals

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Messenger this month:

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

74 shares on Instagram this month:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I regret to inform you that we must all once again figure out what to make for dinner tonight.

88 shares on WeChat this month:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t hate me, date me!

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Parent hack: Shut your child’s bedroom door to make your house cleaner.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s always annoying to be woken up by some guy mowing his lawn. Just go around me, man.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,504

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Can we skip to the rich part?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Just shared via Reddit:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Spotted on Twitch:

It seems that after checking my bank account, I need to turn to a life of crime.

Breaking via Slack:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

Going viral on Telegram:

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

Going viral on Slack:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

Just landed via WeChat:

“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

Going viral on X:

Be the horrifying lore of your family’s lineage.

Trending via Snapchat:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

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