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Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,668

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Live now on Snapchat:

Time needs a speed limit.

Just landed via Telegram:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Breaking via Facebook:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

I’m an ethical hater. My hate towards you is informed, balanced, and deeply nuanced.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
I'm just here to provide constructive criticism… in a beautifully wrapped package of sarcasm! 🎁😏

balance, ethics, hate, hater, humor, informed, nuance, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

1 month ago
eat, food, forget, humor, i, memory, never
Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

1 month ago
appreciation, cost, day, drinking, erase, every, Facebook, fun, humor, i, liquor, me, memory, nostalgia, show
When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

1 month ago
act, attitude, fast, humor, late, mad, office, rush, walk, work
Alexa, mute my children.

1 month ago
Alexa, child, children, humor, mute, parenting, silence, technology
My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

1 month ago
beautiful, coffee, coffee mug, gift, humor, interpretation, me, mom, much, mug, own, read, sarcasm, self-acceptance, too, trying
The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

1 month ago
age-related, aging, comedy, exist, grumpy, humor, i, men, old, old men, older, understand, understanding, why

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I hope the next time you’re stressed, it’s because you’re choosing between Japan, Bali, Switzerland, or the Maldives.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

Social Media Log 💫

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m an ethical hater. My hate towards you is informed, balanced, and deeply nuanced.

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

Alexa, mute my children.

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

“I should’ve peed before I left,” will be my epitaph.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

Being strange is exhausting.

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

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I’m an ethical hater. My hate towards you is informed, balanced, and deeply nuanced.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

Alexa, mute my children.

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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