Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,671

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My summer body has been pending for about ten years.

Trending via Threads:

Oh, Amazon, no. Please do not tell me how many packages I had delivered this year; that is none of my business.

Breaking via Snapchat:

What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

Just landed via Facebook:

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

Spotted on Pinterest:

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

Going viral on X:

The greatest research skill you can have is being a nosy bitch who wants to find out.

Just shared via Discord:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Live now on Reddit:

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

I’m an ethical hater. My hate towards you is informed, balanced, and deeply nuanced.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I'm just here to provide constructive criticism… in a beautifully wrapped package of sarcasm! 🎁😏

balance, ethics, hate, hater, humor, informed, nuance, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

0

2 months ago

E, everything, humor, identity, joke, name, need, wordplay
If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

0

2 months ago

burn, burn calorie, calorie, enough, exercise, head, humor, media, scroll, scrolling, shake, shake head, shaking, social, social media, too, Twitter
A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

0

2 months ago

bag, bean, beans, burrito, food, food humor, food metaphor, funny food, humor, joke, just, metaphor, mexican, Mexican food, sleeping, snack
The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

0

2 months ago

attraction, bi, both, humor, men, orientation, sexual, sexual orientation, where, women, yourself
What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

0

2 months ago

big, Big Mac, Big Matt, came, fast, fast food, food, greeting, hello, humor, humor about food, humorous, humorous thought, imagination, mac, Matt, personification, playful, said, thought
Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

0

2 months ago

having, just, life, much, people, reason, simpler, smack, stupid

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on WeChat this month:

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

If a billionaire is telling you to vote for someone, it’s probably in your best interest to vote for the other person.

29 shares on Threads this month:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

20 shares on X this month:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

15 shares on Reddit this month:

Have you tried complaining about it?

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

28 shares on X this month:

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I suffer from awesomnia.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Going viral on Telegram:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

Trending via TikTok:

Not photogenic, but I probably look soooo good as a distant memory.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Spotted on Messenger:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

Making waves on WeChat:

Normalize booing in the workplace.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m an ethical hater. My hate towards you is informed, balanced, and deeply nuanced.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨