Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Cracking the ice cubes out probably feels so good for the ice tray.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Why did they call it an AI-generated picture and not a ‘fauxtograph’?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,396

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Silk is a crazy material. “I like your shirt,” thanks. It came out of a bug.

Seen just now on Discord:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Going viral on Telegram:

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

Spotted on Telegram:

To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

Going viral on TikTok:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Going bananas on TikTok:

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list that I was making, and now, I can’t read anything.

Going viral on YouTube:

Book reviews be like: “5 stars. I’m sobbing. I’m unwell. I haven’t eaten in 16 hours. Highly recommend.”

Trending via Telegram:

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When your stealth skills are overcooked but the drama is well done! 🍔😂 #Whoopsie"

arguing, argument, big, Big Mac, busy, couple, door, hiding, humor, i, mac, next, observation, trash, trash can, vegan, watching, wrapper

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

0

2 months ago

dieting, easily, frustration, humor, i, keys, lose, mind, phone, temper, weight, wish
Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

0

2 months ago

authenticity, childhood, definitely, fake, humor, nostalgia, photos, smile, smiles, ugly
“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

0

2 months ago

craving, donut, donuts, food, humor, mind, sight, temptation, work
Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

0

2 months ago

cleverness, dumb, five, humor, management, minutes, playing, playing dumb, procrastination, saving, saving work, time, time management, work
Praying none of y’all are unwrapping podcast equipment.

0

7 days ago

equipment, humor, none, podcast, praying, unwrapping
Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

0

3 weeks ago

childhood, everyone, forgetfulness, humor, landline, memory, nostalgia, number, password, people, phone, phone number, recall, shoutout, technology, yesterday

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Slack this month:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The worst person you know is studying psychology.

75 shares on Slack this month:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

82 shares on X this month:

My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

Shared recently on X:

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

You try to fart in the toilet in the morning without waking the whole house and thanks to the brilliant acoustics of the toilet bowl, the horn of Gondor sounds.

Trending via TikTok:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Just landed via Messenger:

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

Going viral on Slack:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

Live now on TikTok:

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.

Trending via YouTube:

I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

Just shared via Instagram:

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

Praying none of y’all are unwrapping podcast equipment.

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨