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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Why am I scrolling? What am I searching for?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

In banana years, I am bread.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,408

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Trending via Pinterest:

What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?

Going bananas on Messenger:

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

Going viral on Slack:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

Making waves on YouTube:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

The older I get, no.

Spotted on WeChat:

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I feel like waking up early on the weekend is so disrespectful.

Trending via Reddit:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

1 month ago

Playful quote highlighting facial expressions when a bee buzzes nearby.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of trying to stay composed when faced with a tiny, buzzing adversary 🐝😅. You gotta hand it to bees though – they sure know how to keep us on our toes! Ready to face off against nature's flying comedians? 🙈💨"

awkward, awkward situation, bee, distraction, face, funny moment, humor, moment, nature, never, situation, unattractive

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on X this month:

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Another year? But the last one got such bad reviews.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

God, please, for once in my life, let me get what I want.

42 shares on Slack this month:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

80 shares on Threads this month:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

87 shares on Messenger this month:

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“Work smarter, not harder.” Brother, I’m not doing either of those things.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you would just let me help, you’d be in an even worse position than you are now.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,398

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Women will brag about their intuition, and then date a DJ.

Going viral on Snapchat:

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

Going viral on TikTok:

God bless the student essay that is so confused and rambling, there is zero chance that they used AI.

Making waves on Snapchat:

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Making waves on Facebook:

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

Just landed via Instagram:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

Just shared via Facebook:

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

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