Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.
  • Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.
  • Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.
  • Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.
  • The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.
  • I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.