Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Is it socially acceptable to wear pajamas all day if you’re constantly holding a coffee cup?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,495

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

Trending via Snapchat:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Making waves on YouTube:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

Making waves on Pinterest:

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Shakespearean widow mode activated: *sobs dramatically* "Is this a spilled coffee I see before me?!" 🎭☕️🤯

dramatic, exaggeration, humor, i, intensity, just, reaction, Shakespearean, times, widow

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

0

2 months ago

alarm, alive, hate, humor, morning, sleep, still, struggle, waking, waking up
“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

0

2 months ago

cousin, cruelty, even, evolution, fate, humor, internet, internet slang, language, lmao, over, rofl, slang, survival
Sometimes you just need a Saturday to sleep all day and do absolutely nothing.

0

3 months ago

absolutely, break, day, doing, doing nothing, just, laziness, nap, need, nothing, recharge, relaxation, rest, Saturday, sleep, sometimes, weekend
Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, commuting, conversation, humor, i, me, moment, next, nothing, person, sarcasm, saying, thanks, train, turning
I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

0

2 months ago

connection, crazy, crazy person, dating, humor, just, looking, love, me, normal, person, relationship, self-perception
Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

0

2 months ago

gutted, humor, irony, loss, lost, Thesaurus, vocabulary, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I always figure it out on my own, I just need to panic first.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

99 shares on X this month:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

67 shares on Twitch this month:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

98 shares on Threads this month:

In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

If you love me, please don’t ask me to go camping with you.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

I watched a woman clean her whole house on YouTube today, in case you thought I lacked ambition.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Making her wear those remote-controlled vibrating panties in public so I can inform her when I’m tired and want to leave the party.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

Just shared via Facebook:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

Just shared via WeChat:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

Shared recently on Telegram:

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

Just landed via Facebook:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Of all the ways to be miserable, marriage is the most expensive.

Making waves on YouTube:

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

Just landed via TikTok:

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Sometimes you just need a Saturday to sleep all day and do absolutely nothing.

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨