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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I love Pinterest. No opinions. No bad vibes. Just pretty pictures.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Cool times create cool guys.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

It was me, I let the dogs out.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

The most romantic minds of our time are being subjected to situationships.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,501

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

I love when certain people post their dating app convos, and you get to see what a conversation between two really boring people looks like.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

Shared recently on X:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

Spotted on YouTube:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

Just shared via Slack:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

Just landed via Instagram:

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

Just shared via Instagram:

Love low-hanging fruit. Easiest kind to obtain, in my opinion.

Making waves on Slack:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

Witty quote about skipping resolutions and hoping for better years, playful and humorous tone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🎉🥳 "I'm done with making resolutions! It's about time the years step up their game and start being better, don't you think? 😆 Let's see some improvement, 2022! #NewYearSameMe" 🙌

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Messenger this month:

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

50 shares on Messenger this month:

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

32 shares on X this month:

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

82 shares on WeChat this month:

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

74 shares on Twitch this month:

How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

42 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

98 shares on Threads this month:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

54 shares on Discord this month:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,574

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

January-me would not believe the life I lived this year.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

My bra isn’t just padded — it’s also filled with cookie and chip crumbs.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

Trending via Threads:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

Broadcasted on X:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

Just landed via TikTok:

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

Making waves on YouTube:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Trending via WeChat:

There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I had a marvelous time ruining everything.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

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