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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Whoever named it overthinking didn’t think hard enough, cause overthinking is never over.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I am thick and tired.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,343

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

Just shared via Telegram:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Just landed via X:

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Trending via Pinterest:

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

Just shared via Slack:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Broadcasted on X:

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Weekend fun: mastering the art of 'grocery cart drifting' and 'laundry Olympics'! 🛒🥇😂"

adulting, age, errands, going, humor, just, means, routine, running, weekend, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

0

2 months ago

after, alcohol, casual, drink, drinking, drunk, drunk text, going, humor, just, night, night out, send, social, text, texting, weekend
Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

0

2 months ago

career, dating, humor, job, just, market, relationship, right, same, scene, stay, where
Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, conversation, elephant, humor, metaphor, right, room, situation, us
Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

0

2 months ago

ankle, clumsiness, humor, injury, mobility, sometimes, vacation, walking
I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

0

2 months ago

am, buying, care, happier, happiness, i, love, me, much, myself, peace, retail, retail therapy, self, self-care, shopping, therapy, things, works
Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

0

2 months ago

adult, bed, being, humor, life, morning, mumbling, reluctant, slide, struggle, stupid

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on YouTube this month:

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

62 shares on Reddit this month:

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

94 shares on Discord this month:

Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Just looked around and realized it’s everyone’s first time living.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning, so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

Trending via Reddit:

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Going bananas on Discord:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Just shared via Twitch:

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

Shared recently on Telegram:

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

Trending via WeChat:

Me, aged 20: This is internship summer. I will get an internship. I will find a job. I will study. I will read. I will learn piano. I will… Me, nowadays: This summer, I’m going to try all of the ice cream flavors.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨