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Commentary:
Well, that's one way to assess your cooking skills! 🍳😂 If you're resorting to devouring your own dishes out of hunger, it might be time to consider ordering takeout instead! 🍔🍕 #CookingAdventures

cooking, eat, food, humor, hunger, hungry, i, joke, own, self-deprecation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

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2 months ago

back, carefree, cookie, day, eating, fun, i, ignorance, just, knowing, nostalgia, simplicity, wish
She is both the storm and the shelter.

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2 months ago

both, contrast, duality, humor, nature, personality, shelter, storm, strength
Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

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2 months ago

adulthood, discovery, family, half, humor, illness, life, life realization, mental, mental illness, mentally, realization
A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

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3 weeks ago

dinosaur, humor, people, people problem, pet, problem, problems, solve
I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

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2 months ago

brag, confidence, hate, humor, i, mistake, sarcasm, self-deprecating
When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

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3 weeks ago

5, 8, 9, actually, commute, hours, humor, job, management, realize, teleport, teleportation, time, time management, work, work hours

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on TikTok this month:

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

60 shares on Messenger this month:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

98 shares on WeChat this month:

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

67 shares on Reddit this month:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

81 shares on Messenger this month:

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

13 shares on Slack this month:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

Making waves on X:

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

Just shared via X:

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

Making waves on Slack:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

Just shared via YouTube:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Just shared via Twitch:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

She is both the storm and the shelter.

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨