Trending Funny Quotes šŸ‘‡

  • If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.
  • Weed smokers be like, ā€œHold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.ā€
  • ā€œYou don’t load the dishwasher right,ā€ I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.
  • Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.
  • I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.
  • Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.