Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Oops, I think someone has brought their workaholic tendencies into the relationship 🤣💍 Maybe let's stick to promising love, laughter, and some good old Netflix binging instead! 📺❤️ #VowsGoneWrong"

apology, commitment, forward, humor, i, relationship, sorry, vows, wedding, work, working

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

0

2 months ago

addiction, agree, brother, call, family, gambling, humor, intervention, joke, shaming, slot
I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

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2 months ago

bath, bath towel, close, even, fluffy, frustration, hate, hotel, humor, i, packing, suitcase, thick, towel, travel
I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

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5 months ago

basic, basic needs, cold, discomfort, freezing, hunger, needs, pee, peeing, starving
Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

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2 months ago

alone, attitude, candle, candle in the wind, humor, independence, just, leave, life, living, man, me, personal, personal space, space, wind
Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

0

2 months ago

1700s, anachronism, bro, conversation, friendship, having, history, humor, pamphlet, should, start
It’s always annoying to be woken up by some guy mowing his lawn. Just go around me, man.

0

2 months ago

always, annoying, around, guy, humor, just, lawn, man, me, morning, mowing, sleep, wake, wake up

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.

26 shares on Slack this month:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

71 shares on X this month:

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

17 shares on X this month:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

49 shares on Slack this month:

Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

20 shares on Slack this month:

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

January 1st always feels like a Sunday, regardless of what day it’s actually on.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

Live now on YouTube:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If you send a man to war today, he’s gonna go there and take dark exposure aesthetic pics.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

This world is extremely kind to men, so I am not.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

Just landed via WeChat:

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

Going bananas on Telegram:

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

Making waves on WeChat:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

It’s always annoying to be woken up by some guy mowing his lawn. Just go around me, man.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨