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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Fries, not lies.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

763 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,925

Funny Quotes Topics

13,894

Funny Quotes Images

10,925

60 minutes ago

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Just shared via Twitch:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Making waves on WeChat:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

Trending via Slack:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Making waves on Twitch:

Eatіng іn bed іs much better. Everythіng’s a napkіn.

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

6 months ago

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

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Commentary:
"Oh, Covid, the ultimate party crasher 🦠! It's like, 'Hey, I already survived your shenanigans once, isn't once enough?' 🙄 But nope, Covid's out here making surprise comebacks like a bad sequel 🎬. Can't help but feel a bit miffed about it, right? 😂 #RudeVirus"

annoyed, catch, Covid, explain, feelings, health, humor, i, irony, kind, once, pandemic, rude, still

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

763 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,925

Funny Quotes Topics

13,894

Funny Quotes Images

10,925

60 minutes ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

Trending via Facebook:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Shared recently on Slack:

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

Trending via Facebook:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Making waves on Twitch:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Making waves on Facebook:

Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

Making waves on Facebook:

I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

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