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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,518

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Just shared via Telegram:

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

Spreading quickly via X:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

Trending via Telegram:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

Just landed via Telegram:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

Making waves on Threads:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My skin has so much oil, I’m surprised countries aren’t fighting over who controls it.

Going viral on WeChat:

If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

3 months ago

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Commentary:
When they say "adult supervision required," apparently that's just a suggestion! 😂🚶‍♂️🧩

allowed, behavior, house, humor, independence, own, permission, social, social behavior, surprise

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Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

47 shares on Discord this month:

I love when my friends have quiet boyfriends. Like, girl, your dog is so good, sis.

45 shares on Slack this month:

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

The world contains protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

20 shares on Discord this month:

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

44 shares on Slack this month:

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

89 shares on X this month:

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

White guys have a slur for other white guys they don’t respect, it’s called ‘buddy.’

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Making waves on Threads:

There’s nothing I hate more than being comfy in bed and suddenly needing to pee.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

Just landed via Twitch:

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

Trending via Telegram:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Spotted on Facebook:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨