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Commentary:
"Looks like someone really enjoys a dramatic weather report! 🌪️☔️ Maybe they just like to watch from the comfort of their dry living room as reporters battle the elements. Whatever floats their umbrella! ☂️😄"

absurdity, concept, humor, i, irony, love, person, rain, reporter, seeing, stand, storm, storms, suffering, weather, wind

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I run every day for 30 minutes. If I miss a day, I add 30 minutes to the next day. This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I’m supposed to run for 3 weeks.

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4 weeks ago

3, 30, add, day, every, exaggeration, exercise, game, humor, i, management, minutes, miss, next, procrastination, run, running, time, time management, tomorrow, truly, weeks, workout
How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

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2 months ago

1, author, bestseller, book, every, humor, new, New York Times, publishing, times, writing, york
Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

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3 weeks ago

beer, called, drink, girl, healing, healing potion, humor, potion, try
Can’t, holding a grudge.

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2 months ago

can’t, conflict, feelings, grudge, holding, humor, relationships
Never trust a wet fart.

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2 months ago

advice, caution, fart, humor, trust, wet
Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

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2 months ago

asking, authority, funny moment, helpful, humor, interaction, me, moment, officer, police, police officer, questions, reminder

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

38 shares on Threads this month:

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

69 shares on YouTube this month:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

80 shares on Discord this month:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

93 shares on TikTok this month:

An orgasm before bed is nature’s strongest sleep aid.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

64 shares on WeChat this month:

I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

34 shares on Discord this month:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

If there are parallel realities, I really hope they’re not as stupid as this one.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

We used to burn CDs like we were running an underground record label.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

Just shared via Slack:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

Just landed via Threads:

There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

Making waves on WeChat:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

Just landed via Threads:

The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

Making waves on TikTok:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I run every day for 30 minutes. If I miss a day, I add 30 minutes to the next day. This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I’m supposed to run for 3 weeks.

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

Can’t, holding a grudge.

Never trust a wet fart.

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨