Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Self-cleaning conscience.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Like most people my age, I’m 50.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,634

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Seen just now on X:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Breaking via Messenger:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Broadcasted on Threads:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Going bananas on Threads:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

Spotted on Discord:

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

Going viral on Messenger:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Plant parent problems: nurturing my leafy babies while dodging the haters 🌿👶🙃

baby, baby talk, hate, here, humor, imagine, just, me, over, plant, plants, talk, talking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

0

2 months ago

dating, face, humor, reason, relationship, self-deprecating, single
Stop bothering me, or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people, but I can tell you are not yet aware of.

0

3 months ago

annoyance, awareness, behavior, bothering, humor, i, inform, interaction, me, observation, pattern, people, personality, social, social interaction, stop, tell, warning
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

0

2 months ago

dying, fitness, health, health nut, hospital, humor, irony, lifestyle, lying, mortality, nothing, nut, sarcasm, someday, stupid
I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, beauty, close, close friend story, coping, coping mechanism, creativity, friend, friends, humor, mechanism, media, pain, social, social media, something, story, turn, tweet
I don’t pay attention to the world ending. It has ended for me many times, and began again in the morning.

0

2 days ago

again, attention, beginning, ending, humor, i, me, morning, new, new beginning, pay, perspective, resilience, times, world, world ending
I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

0

2 months ago

blame, culture, generation, humor, i, kids, know, lynyrd, Lynyrd Skynyrd, music, names, naming, parents, put, skynyrd, think, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Discord this month:

time heals all wounds.” Wrong! Time is chasing me with a knife.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

32 shares on Slack this month:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

90 shares on Discord this month:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

(suicidal grindset guy) When I jump, it’s gonna be from the penthouse.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

97 shares on Discord this month:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

What happened to the art of just liking one person?

Just shared via Facebook:

I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

Spotted on WeChat:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

Seen just now on Slack:

I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Going viral on Reddit:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Imagine not sleeping with plushies. You guys are gonna get eaten by monsters.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Stop bothering me, or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people, but I can tell you are not yet aware of.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

I don’t pay attention to the world ending. It has ended for me many times, and began again in the morning.

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨