Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Water is a drink whose flavor is its temperature.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,721

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

Just shared via Messenger:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

Spotted on Snapchat:

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Just landed via TikTok:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

Just landed via Telegram:

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

Spotted on Twitch:

People never run off to join the circus anymore.

Seen just now on Discord:

How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life gets grater, just remember to brie-lieve in the power of cheese! 🧀😄

cheese, comfort, comfort food, difficult, difficult time, food, humor, important, positivity, remember, time, times

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

0

2 months ago

document, drafting, herein, humor, jargon, legal, legal document, legal jargon, over, paprika, thing, word, wordplay, writing
I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

0

4 months ago

12, 5, am, early, early morning, i, love, midnight, morning, night, peace, quiet, solitude, world
Only DM me if you like disappointment.

0

4 months ago

disappointment, DM, humor, me, media, messaging, only, sarcasm, social, social media
How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

0

2 months ago

animal, everywhere, extinct, humor, know, nature, observation, question
I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

0

2 months ago

encounter, everyone, hair, house, humor, i, know, left, makeup, relatable, run, sure, wet
Liking someone who likes you back is probably really good for your mental health.

0

5 months ago

affection, back, emotional, emotional well-being, good, health, likes, liking, mental, mental health, mutual, mutual affection, relationship, someone, well-being

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

Imagine trying to ruin my day and I ignore you for the rest of my life.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

Sorry, babe, can’t right now. The group chat is active, and I’m trying to get my joke in before they change topics.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

43 shares on Facebook this month:

Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

I just be giggling, then start thinking about bills and remember ain’t nothing funny.

99 shares on X this month:

I had a healthy appendix removed, just to show the other organs that I will not tolerate any bullshit.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Just landed via Telegram:

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

Making waves on Discord:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Making waves on Reddit:

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

Just shared via TikTok:

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

Just shared via Slack:

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

Making waves on Messenger:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

Liking someone who likes you back is probably really good for your mental health.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨