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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,616

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Spotted on Twitch:

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

Spotted on Reddit:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Seen just now on Reddit:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Going viral on WeChat:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Going viral on Messenger:

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

Spotted on Snapchat:

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

Just shared via Telegram:

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Clearly, the real love story is between your heart and a student loan 😂🎓💔📚

advice, degree, education, humor, ignore, ignore love, important, love, master’s degree, Masters, priorities, pursue, twenty

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

2 months ago

activity, good, humor, i, insomnia, internet, media, miss, night, online, online activity, post, posts, procrastination, social, social media, stay, stay up, staying
I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

2 months ago

adventure, belief, believe, Bigfoot, excited, excitement, humor, i, skepticism, too
$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

2 months ago

account, bank, bank account, financial, humor, joke, k, money, sarcasm, silent, wealth
The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

2 months ago

advice, career, career advice, choices, closer, decision, every, having, humor, i, job, life, life choices, LinkedIn, motivation, moves, only, professional, professional life, work
I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

2 months ago

challenge, clean, cleaning, expiration, food, fridge, fun, game, here, humor, i, kill, mystery, play
I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

5 months ago

ago, animal, animals, better, cat, cat owner, easily, failure, food, giving, holy, humor, i, judge, just, organ, organ failure, owner, pet, pets, shit, starve, stubborn, taste, time, too, used, weeks, whim

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on TikTok this month:

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

My toxic trait is optimism.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

14 shares on Facebook this month:

January: the Monday of months.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

63 shares on Discord this month:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

33 shares on X this month:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I only accept apologies in cash.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Kim Kardashian wants her ashes to be scattered in the sea after her death. As if there wasn’t enough plastic there already.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

Live now on Facebook:

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

Spreading quickly via X:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Breaking via Telegram:

The idea of a relationship is so much better than the reality, bruh. I used to be angry at 7 a.m.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

Shared recently on Telegram:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Going viral on Instagram:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Making waves on Instagram:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Just landed via WeChat:

I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨