Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Welcome to adulthood: 9pm is midnight now.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,405

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Making waves on Telegram:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years. I feel sorry for my next boyfriend. He might not make it through the day.

Just landed via YouTube:

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

Trending via Discord:

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Spotted on Facebook:

The more secure you want my computer password to be, the more guaranteed I am to just write it on a very not secure post-it note.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

Just shared via X:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Interviewer: So why do you want this job?
Me: I don’t. I just need money. 💸💼

Well, honesty is the best policy, right? Who needs passion when you have bills to pay! 🤣 #JobGoals

candid, honesty, humor, i, interviewer, irony, job, just, me, money, need, sarcasm, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

0

2 months ago

arguing, backup, backup dancer, being, dancer, entertainment, humor, interaction, likes, little, love, media, observation, people, posts, social, social media, tragedy
First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

0

2 months ago

bed, bring, coffee, cozy, date, date idea, first date, idea, me, morning, romantic, snuggle
I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

0

2 months ago

adulting, humor, i, life, please, request, responsibility, sarcasm, stress, thank, unsubscribe
“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

0

2 months ago

declaration, humor, likes, love, media, relationship, social, social media, story
I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

0

2 months ago

activity, dating, fun, fun activity, home, i, kids, marriage, night, relationship, singles, singles night, surprise, thought, wife
I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

0

2 months ago

comedy, dramatic, frustration, humor, i, life, restart, restarting, routine, ruining, stress, want, week, work, work week

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m just trying to have a nice time despite knowing facts and information.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m at the age where an uncomfortable bed will have me injured for a couple of days.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

100 shares on Slack this month:

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

11 shares on Telegram this month:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

People will scroll on their phones for 6 hours a day and wonder how other people can watch a movie every day.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

97 shares on Discord this month:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

My doctor told me “good luck” and gave me finger guns, so obviously I’m dying.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Twitter is a weapon of mass distraction.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

Seen just now on Telegram:

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

Going viral on TikTok:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Just shared via Twitch:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Going viral on Telegram:

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

Breaking via Discord:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Going viral on Instagram:

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨