Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Who decided that skeletons are scary? Because honestly, I’d be more scared if the muscular system suddenly walked into my room.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I realize being in a hurry is a terrible way to live your life.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,612

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

Going viral on TikTok:

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

Going viral on Twitch:

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Just landed via Facebook:

I bring a sort of “this isn’t actually urgent” vibe to the workplace that managers don’t like.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When Mother Nature puts on a free light show, you bring snacks and call it a front-row seat experience! 🌩️👀🍿

age, childhood, funny observation, lightning, matter, nostalgia, observation, old, sit, storm, thunder, watch, weather, window

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

0

4 months ago

age, amazing, bangers, foods, funny observation, generation, i, kid, lame, middle, middle age, morning, music, nostalgia, observation, people, played, supermarket, whole, Whole Foods, youth
Welcome to Twitter, some random, judgmental stranger will be along shortly to complain about your tweets.

0

5 months ago

along, complain, complaint, humor, judgment, judgmental, media, random, social, social media, stranger, tweet, Tweets, Twitter, welcome
Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

0

2 months ago

again, fine, humor, independence, just, man, own, purpose, relationship, remind, reminder, self-reliance, simply, sometimes
Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

0

2 months ago

career, carefree, casual, humor, motivation, never, playful, snack, snacks, sunshine
Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad decision, better, choices, decision, decisions, drunk, honesty, humor, i, say, self-awareness, sober, yes
Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

0

2 months ago

bro, confidence, culture, doubt, humor, irony, never, stereotype, tech, tech bro, tech culture, wrong

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Discord this month:

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

61 shares on X this month:

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

64 shares on Discord this month:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

91 shares on YouTube this month:

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

36 shares on Instagram this month:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

88 shares on WeChat this month:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

60 shares on Slack this month:

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Jeans have the tendency of looking neat when you’re about to wash them.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Overthinkaholic!

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

Making waves on X:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Shared recently on Messenger:

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Just landed via WeChat:

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

Live now on X:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My mental health walks make my mental health worse because I live in a shithole.

Just landed via WeChat:

Normalize having a threatening aura, but really just being a sweetheart.

Trending via Facebook:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Trending via Instagram:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

Welcome to Twitter, some random, judgmental stranger will be along shortly to complain about your tweets.

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨