Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,052

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Overthinkaholic!

Freshly posted on Messenger:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

Freshly posted on Slack:

People don’t realize how hard you ride for them until you park.

Just shared via Messenger:

Situationships are just you pretending you’re okay with getting used until they find someone they actually like.

Making waves on Instagram:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Spotted on Facebook:

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

Going viral on Snapchat:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Spotted on YouTube:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.

3 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who knew the ultimate bedtime boss battle would be a tiny human in pajamas? 😂🛌🎉

bed, bedtime, bedtime conflict, bedtime routine, bedtime struggle, child, conflict, little, parenthood, people, put, routine, seems, sleep, struggle, unfair, unfairness, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

0

2 months ago

diet, eat, eating, fitness, food, health, humor, i, just, less, simple, simplicity, want, weigh, weight
Later is the best time to do anything.

0

2 months ago

best, best time, humor, later, management, procrastination, time, time management
Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

0

1 month ago

adult, class, Cody, elementary, elementary school, every, growing, growing up, i, met, name, nostalgia, school, where
We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, blue, blue eye, clumsiness, even, eye, eyes, first impression, gaze, humor, i, impression, just, meeting, moment, never, pale, tell, toe
One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

0

2 months ago

aging, cause, day, fun, heartburn, humor, next, nostalgia, recipe, searching, Thanksgiving, young, youth
The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

0

2 months ago

aging, daily, daily routine, day, funny observation, humor, humor quote, i, just, morning, observation, older, rooster, routine, scream, start, understand, wake up, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

My most boomer complaint is that nobody knows how to bring an item out of courtesy to parties anymore.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

29 shares on Discord this month:

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

56 shares on Discord this month:

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

22 shares on WeChat this month:

Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

62 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

Bugs have so many legs to make up for their lack of personality.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

So basically, companies pay YouTube to show ads, and we pay YouTube to not show ads.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Just shared via Twitch:

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

Breaking via TikTok:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

Just landed via WeChat:

She got me to fall for her, like a boomer seeing an AI image on Facebook.

Making waves on Messenger:

People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

Spotted on Facebook:

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

Later is the best time to do anything.

Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨