Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I was going to buy my wife a car for Christmas but then I remembered I don’t live in a commercial.
  • Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.
  • That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.
  • I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.
  • I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.
  • I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.