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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I can’t explain it, but I am very bold and very shy at the same time.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

My favorite kind of gender reveal is the one where the parents find out, and they just tell everyone through text instead of making me go to a party.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally go to touch them, and they will let you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,557

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

Freshly posted on Twitch:

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

Broadcasted on Threads:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

Making waves on Discord:

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

Shared recently on Discord:

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

Just landed via Snapchat:

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

Shared recently on Discord:

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

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It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.
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Commentary:
Oh dear, it seems your shenanigan quota is running dangerously low! 🙊 Time to dust off the ol' mischief manual and get back in the game before you become too serious for your own good! 🎉 Remember, life is more fun with a dash of chaos and a sprinkle of silliness! 😉 Let the shenanigans commence!

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Reddit this month:

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

15 shares on Discord this month:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

97 shares on X this month:

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

17 shares on X this month:

If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

Water is a drink whose flavor is its temperature.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

25 is the new 0 years old.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Thinking about quitting my job to focus on my girlfriend.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,245

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

Trending via WeChat:

I love Pinterest. No opinions. No bad vibes. Just pretty pictures.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

Going viral on Telegram:

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

Seen just now on Facebook:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

Going bananas on Discord:

All I think about is death and sex.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Don’t interrupt me while I’m embarrassing myself.

Spotted on Reddit:

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

Breaking via WeChat:

My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

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