Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

My New Year’s resolution is to emit a powerful beam of light.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,308

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Shorts should be half the price of pants.

Going viral on Instagram:

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

Spotted on Discord:

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

Seen just now on Slack:

I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

Making waves on Discord:

It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Just landed via YouTube:

Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

Going viral on Discord:

I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of night owls everywhere. Who knew that 'too early' could be such a flexible concept? I guess it's all about perspective – early to bed, early to rise, makes a person healthy, wealthy, and…well, maybe a little grumpy if they're not a morning person!"

early, humor, night, rest, sleep, waking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Twitch this month:

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

56 shares on Threads this month:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

People should come with warning labels.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

21 shares on Discord this month:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I run every day for 30 minutes. If I miss a day, I add 30 minutes to the next day. This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I’m supposed to run for 3 weeks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,694

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

Trending via Threads:

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

Seen just now on Instagram:

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

Just shared via TikTok:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Just shared via Pinterest:

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

Making waves on X:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Going viral on Twitch:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

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