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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Sleeping in is the most efficient way to find out which morning rituals you can actually do without.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

My fridge turns into a food retirement home, as soon as I buy groceries.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,551

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

There is no ‘we’ in ‘food’.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

Making waves on X:

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Just shared via Telegram:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Making waves on Telegram:

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

Seen just now on Slack:

Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

2 weeks ago

Witty quote about sleep timing, humorously suggesting it's never too early to rest.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of night owls everywhere. Who knew that 'too early' could be such a flexible concept? I guess it's all about perspective – early to bed, early to rise, makes a person healthy, wealthy, and…well, maybe a little grumpy if they're not a morning person!"

early, humor, night, rest, sleep, waking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on TikTok this month:

I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

89 shares on Messenger this month:

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

25 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever watched the teams you hate be first-round exits?

34 shares on X this month:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,425

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

At least life has music.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

By now, we’ve all figured out that these LED bulbs don’t actually last 15 years, but we’ve collectively decided to just let it slide.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

Making waves on Reddit:

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

Trending via YouTube:

Anything can be a dating app if you aren’t a coward.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

Just landed via TikTok:

50 shades of single.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

You can’t ’48 Laws of Power’ me.

Just shared via Slack:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

Live now on YouTube:

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

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