It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

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Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

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Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

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I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

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Don’t hate me, date me!

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Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

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There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

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The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

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I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

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Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

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She is both the storm and the shelter.