Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Welcome to Elephant in the Room club, no one talks about it.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,771

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

Shared recently on Discord:

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

Just shared via WeChat:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

Just landed via Messenger:

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Spotted on Twitch:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

Going bananas on Facebook:

I hope my email finds you enraged.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a Valentine when you make Groundhog's Day look like a breeze! 😄 Stay single, stay fabulous! 💁‍♀️🦔"

celebration, day, expectations, Groundhog, holiday, humor, i, love, ok, relationship, single, Valentine

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

0

2 months ago

daily, daily life, determination, drive, driveway, family, flipping, humor, i, life, patience, perseverance, pull, radio, radio station, relationship, station, stations, still, through, wife, wish
Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

0

2 months ago

broke, confidence, humor, less, new, new year, resolution, self-improvement, sexy, wake, wake up, woke, year
How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

0

2 months ago

activity, e-scooter, fun, fun activity, funny situation, humor, perception, reaction, respect, situation, social, social perception, someone, unexpected
The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

0

2 months ago

beauty, boy, gender, humor, just, perception, sorry, stereotype, thing, ugly, used, women, word
The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

0

2 months ago

activity, ago, always, bots, comedy, hilarious, humor, internet, internet humor, just, liking, me, media, online, online activity, porn, posts, self-deprecating, social, social media, viral
The sound of a buzzing fly is enough to ruin my whole mood.

0

3 months ago

annoyance, buzzing, enough, fly, irritation, mood, ruin, sound, whole

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Threads this month:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

My middle finger salutes you.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

48 shares on X this month:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I have more trips planned than I have money.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I miss when bills were none of my business.

Trending via Slack:

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

Just shared via Instagram:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

Making waves on Snapchat:

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

Going bananas on WeChat:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

The sound of a buzzing fly is enough to ruin my whole mood.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨