Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Asking women for sex just to end the conversation.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.

Trending via Slack:

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Spotted on Discord:

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

Making waves on Twitch:

Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

Seen just now on Telegram:

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

Just landed via Messenger:

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

Live now on Reddit:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew burgers were so exclusive now? 🍔🙅‍♂️ Maybe they're just trying to avoid feeling 'beefed' up afterwards! 🤣 #BurgerElitists"

activity, burger, crazy, food, fun, fun activity, just, never, nostalgia, people, socializing, used

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Some things are better left unsaid,” I think to myself immediately after I hit send.

4 weeks ago

after, better, communication, confession, hit, humor, i, left, media, message, mistake, myself, regret, self-talk, send, social, social media, texting, things, think, unsaid
Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

2 months ago

activity, danger, die, drive, every, humor, let, me, relationship, road, road trip, scream, time, trip
Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

2 months ago

attack, being, humor, karma, laugh, lesson, me, never, seagull, stranger
I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

2 months ago

anxiety, cold, comfort, comfort food, feeling, food, food anxiety, fridge, good, humor, late, late night, night, sleep
It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

2 months ago

cremated, exaggeration, going, heat, hot, humor, i, joke, summer, temperature, thought, today
Even wild things have slow mornings.

2 months ago

even, humor, morning, mornings, relatable, slow, slow morning, thing, things, wild, wild thing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on X this month:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

There will be people in your life that say you have too many books. Those are not your people.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

84 shares on X this month:

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

48 shares on Facebook this month:

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m sick of waking up thinking about the government, and going to bed thinking about the government.

Going bananas on Messenger:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

Seen just now on Discord:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Just landed via Reddit:

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

Making waves on Instagram:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

Trending via Discord:

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

“Some things are better left unsaid,” I think to myself immediately after I hit send.

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨