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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,806

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Just shared via Facebook:

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Lowkey terrifying when someone attractive is actually into you, omg.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oops, looks like I forgot to charge my "kiss commission" fee! 😅💋😂

commission, deadline, done, humor, i, kiss, lips, need, romantic, tonight

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

1 month ago
advice, communication, do what you want, humor, relationship, want, woman
You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

1 month ago
bed, cold, DM, humor, relationship, too, whining
I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

1 month ago
absurdity, age, death, die, fall, head, hope, humor, i, irony, old, old age, piano, something, stupid, want, wish
Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

1 month ago
4-year, 4-year old, attitude, Batman, cape, childhood, confidence, fun, humor, inspiration, old, playfulness, today
Those eyes ain’t gonna roll itself, let me help you.

1 month ago
eyes, help, humor, let, me, roll, sarcasm, wit
We just accepted air fryers and never once questioned how air fries things.

4 weeks ago
air, air fryer, cooking, curiosity, food, fryer, gadget, humor, just, kitchen, kitchen gadget, never, once, things

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

The Frankfurt School?? What are you majoring in, hot dog?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

Spotted on Threads:

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

Trending via Snapchat:

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Seen just now on X:

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

Those eyes ain’t gonna roll itself, let me help you.

We just accepted air fryers and never once questioned how air fries things.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

Moving houses/apartments gotta be top 3 worst human experiences.

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I have to stand in the shower about this.

Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I’m already spoiled… please don’t come into my life trying to unspoil me.

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

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I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

Those eyes ain’t gonna roll itself, let me help you.

We just accepted air fryers and never once questioned how air fries things.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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