Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Spotted on TikTok:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

Shared recently on TikTok:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Live now on WhatsApp:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

Just shared via X:

Call me constipated the way I don’t give a shit.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

Shared recently on X:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

0
I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like even you can't handle your own high standards, huh? 🤷‍♂️ Who knew dating yourself could be so complicated? Maybe it's time to treat yourself to a night out to rekindle the romance with… yourself 😂💔 #SoloDateNight

, , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Instagram this month:

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

65 shares on WeChat this month:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

25 shares on X this month:

I invoiced my boss two extra hours for the dream I had about work last night. I’m considering that overtime.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

First World War. Kind of nervous.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,337

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Good morning, did you have a nice weekend? I ask my many open work tabs.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Adulthood these days is just bills and running out of memory on devices.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Riding a bike is an insane concept. You just sit and run at the same time.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Just landed via Messenger:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Just landed via Discord:

Nobody can ragebait as successfully as your own mother can.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

Going viral on Telegram:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴