Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,343

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

Just shared via Facebook:

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

Spotted on TikTok:

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

Making waves on YouTube:

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

Live now on Telegram:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Seen just now on TikTok:

One minute you’re young and fun, the next you’re excited about a new vacuum cleaner.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

Spreading quickly via X:

Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

0
I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like even you can't handle your own high standards, huh? 🤷‍♂️ Who knew dating yourself could be so complicated? Maybe it's time to treat yourself to a night out to rekindle the romance with… yourself 😂💔 #SoloDateNight

, , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on X this month:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

26 shares on Telegram this month:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

63 shares on Slack this month:

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

12 shares on Discord this month:

My toddler asked if we could go to the zoo today, and I said, “I can’t see that happening.” Then she literally left the room and came back with my glasses.

31 shares on Threads this month:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

87 shares on Messenger this month:

I can’t believe the gall of this bladder.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning. I’m ready for attention now.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,405

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

It sucks that the reward for being responsible, is just a bunch of new responsibilities.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Sometimes you just need a Saturday to sleep all day and do absolutely nothing.

Seen just now on Slack:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

Spotted on Snapchat:

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

Shared recently on Twitch:

For Halloween, you should be mine.

Trending via Telegram:

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Going viral on Threads:

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

Live now on X:

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴