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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

A selfie only a mother could like.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Jan 5, 2026

3,604

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’m an adult, that’s why I can have Skittles for dinner.

Making waves on YouTube:

I speak for everyone when I say that finding the balance between watching movies, watching TV shows, and playing video games is harder than any job.

Making waves on YouTube:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Going viral on Discord:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

Live now on Facebook:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

Making waves on X:

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

Going viral on Facebook:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

Going bananas on X:

I’m still tired from yesterday’s tired.

Jeez. It’s like the people in this nursing home have never heard techno before.

2 months ago

0

Jeez. It’s like the people in this nursing home have never heard techno before.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like the nursing home is missing out on some epic dance parties! 🕺🎶 Maybe they're more into the classics like Beethoven or Sinatra? 💃🎵 Time to show them the wonders of techno beats and get the party started! 🔊🎉

before, elderly, fun, gap, generational, generational gap, home, humor, music, never, nursing, nursing home, party, people, techno

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

0

2 months ago

chewing, comfort, family, home, humor, loud, loud chewing, technology, where, Wi-Fi, wifi
My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

0

2 months ago

adulting, back, borrowing, favorite, finance, humor, money, myself, paying, paying back, personal, personal finance, self
“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

0

2 weeks ago

bed, bed size, beds, couple, couples, divorce, divorce rate, interested, king, king bed, marriage, queen, queen bed, rate, relationship, size, sleep
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

0

2 months ago

again, boundary, fool, humor, joke, lesson, me, never, nudes, once, relationship, shame, times, trust, twice
Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

0

2 months ago

bad, calamari, comparison, ever, experiment, first time, food, food experiment, humor, joke, life, life joke, marriage, maybe, next, time, try, trying, trying food, unexpected, unexpected comparison
Double chins are better than double faces.

0

2 months ago

better, body, body positivity, chin, double, double chin, double face, face, faces, humor, positivity, self-image

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on YouTube this month:

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

54 shares on Instagram this month:

150 years ago, you could just fake your death and go overseas and live a completely different life if you didn’t like the way the cards were originally dealt.

80 shares on X this month:

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

93 shares on Slack this month:

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

74 shares on Discord this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Grok, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

(While my wife opens up her Christmas present) Remember when you said we needed milk?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,656

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Another customer getting a haircut started talking to my barber. Please don’t talk to my barber. You have your own.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

Shared recently on Threads:

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

Making waves on Instagram:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Breaking via WeChat:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

Going viral on TikTok:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

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