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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Someone needs to press pause on this weekend.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,483

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Just landed via Reddit:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

Trending via Slack:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

Breaking via Twitch:

Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

Going viral on Twitch:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Just shared via Twitch:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Jesus invited prostitutes to dinner and was praised for compassion. I do it, and suddenly I ‘made Christmas awkward.’

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I won't be playing Santa at the next family gathering! 🎅🍽️🙈

awkward, Christmas, compassion, dinner, humor, i, invitation, invited, Jesus, norms, prostitute, social, social norms

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

0

2 months ago

cravings, food, fun, girls, humor, just, naan, play, play on words, pun, want, words
I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

0

5 months ago

coffee, escape, exhaustion, forever, hug, humor, i, just, live, need, self-care, solitude, stress, tell, woods
I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

0

2 months ago

cake, craving, dessert, food, fork, humor, i, joke, never, sweet, sweet tooth, tooth, want
Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

0

2 months ago

ever, game, goalie, humor, lonely, question, sports
Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

0

4 months ago

better, computer, humor, lived, nostalgia, old, old times, only, own, privacy, room, sometimes, specific, technology, things, times
I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

0

2 months ago

apology, awkwardness, dating, flirt, humor, i, interaction, roast, sorry, trying

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

94 shares on Discord this month:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry for texting you back instantly. My phone was in my hand, and I’m mature and actually like you.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

The people that ask Grok everything are the same people that follow Google Map directions straight into a lake.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Spongebob never let anyone dull his whimsical spirit.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Salt is just angry sugar.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I’m sorry I bit your hand when you reached for my popcorn.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Making waves on Reddit:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Live now on Snapchat:

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

Trending via Discord:

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

Live now on Facebook:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Jesus invited prostitutes to dinner and was praised for compassion. I do it, and suddenly I ‘made Christmas awkward.’

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨