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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,022

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

Spotted on Facebook:

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

Making waves on Telegram:

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Unless you're aiming for a new personal best in the 'Decathlon of Smells'! 😅🏃‍♂️💨"#KeepYourArmsAtEase

48, 48 hours, care, challenge, deodorant, hours, humor, hygiene, just, mean, personal, personal care

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

1 month ago
bugs, Bugs Bunny, bunny, cartoon, cartoon wisdom, choices, fight, flight, humor, i, lady, lessons, life, life lessons, limited, me, pretend, pretty, pretty lady, wisdom
Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

2 months ago
activity, alive, anxiety, embarrassing, embarrassment, everyone, humor, life, social, social anxiety, survival, swimming, want
Calling the police when someone unfollows.

1 month ago
behavior, calling, digital, humor, internet, joke, media, online, online behavior, police, satire, social, social media, someone, unfollow
*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

2 months ago
dark, dark humor, death, erase, erase existence, existence, fake, fake death, Google, humor, Monday, morning, online, online search, own, procrastination, search
I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

1 month ago
alligator, angry, bra, comparison, funny comparison, humor, i, middle, never, same, sports, sports bra, struggle, summer, taken, thing, wet, wrestling
I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

1 month ago
am, bedroom, cave, days, exhaustion, half, hours, humor, i, introvert, need, personality, recovery, social, time

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

Going bananas on Slack:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

Making waves on Slack:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Just shared via WeChat:

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

The minute I start feeling like a mother to a man, the relationship is over.

Imagining how cathartic it must feel to send forth thousands and thousands of bats from your Transylvanian manor.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

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Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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