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Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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3,604

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

Just landed via Telegram:

Welcome to Twitter, some random, judgmental stranger will be along shortly to complain about your tweets.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Talents: eating!

Shared recently on Facebook:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Making waves on Reddit:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

Just shared via Facebook:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

3 days ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about deodorant longevity warning against testing its 48-hour claim.

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Commentary:
"48 hours? Talk about living on the edge… or maybe the nose! 😅👃#LivingDangerously #SmellYouLater"

48, 48 hours, care, challenge, deodorant, hours, humor, hygiene, just, mean, personal, personal care, smell

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84 shares on Discord this month:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

98 shares on Instagram this month:

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

32 shares on Threads this month:

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Such is modern life. Mordor in our midst.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Smoking weed and watching music videos as the hangout is a lost art.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

Spotted on Twitch:

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

Seen just now on Instagram:

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

Making waves on TikTok:

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

Trending via Messenger:

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’ve decided that I’m going to underthink today.

Just shared via TikTok:

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

Freshly posted on X:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Just landed via X:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

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Activity Log ✨

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Keep the laugh going 😂

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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