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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,397

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

Just landed via Slack:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Spreading quickly via X:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

Going bananas on Discord:

Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

Just shared via YouTube:

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

Spotted on Discord:

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

Making waves on Facebook:

Celebrities should not be allowed to name children.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

6 days ago

Funny Quotes

Funny quote about body shaving for Santa, playful and lighthearted text.

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Commentary:
Looks like you're ready for a spot on Santa's sleek reindeer team! 🦌🎅✨

body, grooming, holiday, humor, just, Santa, shave, shaved, whole

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Facebook this month:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

66 shares on Threads this month:

Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

61 shares on X this month:

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

Hello, I’m a professor in a movie. I only reach the main point of my lecture right as class is ending. Then I yell at students about the reading / homework as they leave.

36 shares on Threads this month:

Used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp technology, but now, anytime I see something new, I’m like, “I’m not learning that.”

90 shares on WeChat this month:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Liking someone who likes you back is probably really good for your mental health.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I’m an adult, that’s why I can have Skittles for dinner.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I bet it feels so good for a cat to headbutt someone they adore.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

Just realized doors really are floating in the air 24/7. I don’t like that.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

Seen just now on Messenger:

Less talkie. More kissie.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

Going viral on Snapchat:

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

Just shared via Discord:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

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Activity Log ✨

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

Keep the laugh going 😂

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨