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Commentary:
Well, well, well, looks like the internet outage brought you some unexpected news! 😆 Who knew you were living with a mysterious nurse all this time? Maybe your wife picked up a side gig while the internet was on a break! 🏥💻 Hope you enjoy getting to know her better now that the connection is back up!

conversation, humor, internet, just, nice, nurse, relationship, wife

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

5 months ago
am, complaining, day, deprivation, fatigue, favorite, humor, i, late, later, next, pastime, procrastination, should, sleep, sleep deprivation, staying, staying up late, tired
It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

1 month ago
exercise, gym, humor, i, mishap, store, today, unexpected, walking, wind, wine
Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

1 month ago
chewing, comfort, family, home, humor, loud, loud chewing, technology, where, Wi-Fi, wifi
Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

1 month ago
1, advice, afraid, always, caution, drive, driving, formula, Formula 1, humor, i, just, racing, rain
Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

1 month ago
after, ball, chasing, dehumanizing, humor, ping, ping pong, playful, pong, satire, sports
I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

1 month ago
comparison, glasses, humor, i, joke, preference, thick, transparent, uneven, women

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, that’s why trolling them is so vital.

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Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

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They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

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My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

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That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

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Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

Spotted on X:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

Spotted on Pinterest:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

Just landed via Instagram:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

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Activity Log ✨

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

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Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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