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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡Ί has viewed:

Studies show that people with high IQs tend to be lazy, or something like that. I didn’t read the whole article.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡³ has viewed:

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ό has viewed:

I think there’s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡© has copied:

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Έ has shared:

What did people do before eyeglasses, like half the world just walked around not being able to see?

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡΄ has downloaded:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡± has viewed:

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡³ has copied:

Love when a doctor emails me about my β€œoutstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Someone from πŸ‡ΆπŸ‡¦ has copied:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,342

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I usually start exploring the abyss around 7 p.m.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Just landed via Threads:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

Just shared via Instagram:

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

Shared recently on Instagram:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

Making waves on Discord:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Trending via Pinterest:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

Trending via Twitch:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

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Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.
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Commentary:
Siblings arguing: the original reality TV show πŸŽ¬πŸ˜‚πŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈ

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

πŸŽ‰πŸ₯‚ New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Messenger this month:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

39 shares on Discord this month:

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

30 shares on WeChat this month:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

A garlic a day keeps people away.

29 shares on Discord this month:

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

87 shares on Messenger this month:

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

19 shares on Slack this month:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If there is a God and He β€œloves” us, then explain snakes.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I don’t care about life on other planets. I don’t even have a life on this one.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,326

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

If small talk burned calories, maybe I’d consider it.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ό has copied:

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡» has bookmarked:

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡³ has copied:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Έ has downloaded:

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡² has shared:

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡± has bookmarked:

Just in case you don’t know, it’s β€œpiqued” your interest, not β€œpeaked”.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡· has shared:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡­ has viewed:

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

Seen just now on Slack:

Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

You can reach me by butterfly.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

β€œGod has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

Seen just now on Instagram:

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

Trending via Telegram:

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

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