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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,473

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

Spotted on Threads:

I run a parody bank account.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

Going viral on YouTube:

No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

Going bananas on Messenger:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Bro, you gotta try this high-protein Caesar salad, cold brew, air fryer, overnight oats recipe I found on Instagram.

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Siblings arguing: the original reality TV show 🎬😂🤦‍♂️

anything, arguing, argument, family, humor, kid, kids, love, much, sibling

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m attracted to people that no one pays attention to.

0

2 months ago

attention, attraction, humor, people, personality
Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

0

2 months ago

confidence, daily, daily life, dog, enthusiasm, every, excited, excitement, happen, hell, humor, i, life, man, masculinity, moment, motivation, pet, real, shit, stand, time
“There’s something beautifully intimate about never speaking to a person again.”

0

2 months ago

again, communication, goodbye, humor, interaction, intimacy, irony, never, person, relationship, silence, social, social interaction, something, speaking
Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

0

2 months ago

celebration, costume, disguise, going, Halloween, humor, invisible, Invisible Man, man, party, year
I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

0

2 months ago

alarm, confusion, deep, humor, i, late, morning, panic, relief, sleep, thinking, wake, wake up, woke, work
If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

0

2 months ago

buying, humor, i, lottery, money, nice, politician, politicians, satire, sh, spending, wealth, win

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

10 shares on Threads this month:

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

31 shares on WeChat this month:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

39 shares on X this month:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

Going viral on Twitch:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

Just landed via X:

I gave you a follow back, not a Tinder match, don’t “Hey, beautiful” me.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

Shared recently on Discord:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Shared recently on Slack:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Just landed via Reddit:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

Live now on Facebook:

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m attracted to people that no one pays attention to.

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

“There’s something beautifully intimate about never speaking to a person again.”

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨