Trendy Funny Quotes

  • My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.
  • If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.
  • Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.
  • I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.
  • Asking Santa Claus for nudes.
  • This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.