Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

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I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

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Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

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A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

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When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

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I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

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I love when women move on. It’s my favourite genre.

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Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

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I really love how squirrels get extra chubby heading into winter mostly because it’s super relatable.

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My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

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Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.