Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,351

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

Just shared via Pinterest:

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Going viral on WeChat:

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Instagram should let you extend the run of one story for another 24 hours if the intended target didn’t see it.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Going bananas on X:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

1 month ago

Humorous text about feeling cheeky with neighborly boundaries.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Talk about bad luck! It's like, can't they find a better place to live? 🙄 Maybe they just enjoy your fabulous company too much! 🏡😂"

context, humor, live, living, me, neighbor, neighbors, next, rude

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Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Reddit this month:

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

83 shares on Threads this month:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

28 shares on Discord this month:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

79 shares on Threads this month:

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Will probably never be loved, but I have to send emails, so I can’t really think about that right now.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel booking website.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Just shared via Threads:

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

Freshly posted on X:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

Live now on Threads:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

Seen just now on X:

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

Trending via TikTok:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Seen just now on Threads:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Nobody in the entire world has ever known what to do with me.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨