Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.
  • Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.
  • I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
  • I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.
  • Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.
  • We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.