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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Man, you really don’t appreciate not having something in your eye until you have something in your eye.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,808

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Trending via Reddit:

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

Going viral on Instagram:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Trending via Reddit:

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

Last night’s dream could have been an email.

4 months ago

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Commentary:
That dream was on airplane mode while my brain asked for a Wi-Fi password 😂✈️📧

communication, dream, email, humor, last, night, nights, sleep, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

1 month ago
age, aging, breaks, humor, i, life, nap, pee, sleep
I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

1 month ago
aisles, confusion, discombobulated, feel, humor, i, me, shopping, supermarkets, switch, texting
Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

1 month ago
adulting, chores, done, drink, humor, laundry, multitasking, procrastination, relaxation, wine
Roses are pink. I need a drink.

1 month ago
beverage, drink, fun, humor, i, lightheartedness, need, party, pink, poetry, roses, wine
My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

4 weeks ago
another, argument, called, fight, humor, husband, i, limited, limited sery, marriage, relationship, series, sery, storytelling, thing, turn
You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

1 month ago
act, drink, expectation, humor, just, money, people, pressure, rejection, response, social, social pressure, tell, trying, turned

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Cars should have two horns, one for “excuse me, kind friend,” and another for “curse you and your family for generations.”

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

“It gets to a point” is one of my favourite phrases because it literally does get to a point sometimes.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

Just landed via Threads:

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Breaking via Pinterest:

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

Going viral on YouTube:

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Last night’s dream could have been an email.

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

Are French bulldogs actually French? They seem kinda Puerto Rican.

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

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Last night’s dream could have been an email.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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