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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

There are beautiful horny women (me) being forced into celibacy due to the utter lack of worthy men in existence. This is the world we are living in now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,699

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

Just shared via Twitch:

“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Cool times create cool guys.

Trending via Snapchat:

What’s y’all’s favorite burner on your stove? Mine is front left. That’s my boy. That’s my big dawg.

Making waves on Threads:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

Shared recently on Discord:

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

Just shared via Facebook:

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

1 week ago

Playful quote about embracing life's ups and downs with humor and hopscotch vibes.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Life isn't just a rollercoaster, it's a whole playground of emotions! 🎢 When things get tough, make them do the limbo – just let the bad times crawl on by. And as for the acceptable times? Well, let them have their own little hopscotch tournament! 🕺#EmotionalHopscotch"

acceptable, acceptable time, bad, bad time, crawl, fun, good, good time, hopscotch, humor, let, roll, time, times

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on WeChat this month:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

75 shares on X this month:

Resting bitch face saves me from so many conversations I don’t want to be part of.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

Twitter is an abusement park.

45 shares on Discord this month:

I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

37 shares on Threads this month:

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

52 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.

84 shares on X this month:

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Before social media, you had to actively go out and find crazy people.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

All the clouds have come out to play today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,356

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

The Face ID on my phone won’t work until it sees the loss of hope in my eyes.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

My brain has too many tabs open.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

The older I get, the more I respect Sleeping Beauty. She took one look at the world and said, “Nah.”

Just shared via Threads:

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Going viral on Reddit:

They should invent someone who holds me.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Shared recently on TikTok:

There will be people in your life that say you have too many books. Those are not your people.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Spending the day with my mom and her mom, just observing the patterns.

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