Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

If small talk burned calories, maybe I’d consider it.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,845

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Going viral on Pinterest:

What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

Trending via Reddit:

To everyone who opens the fridge, stares, and closes it hoping new snacks will appear… You’re my people.

Just shared via YouTube:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Making waves on Twitch:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

0
Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Life isn't just a rollercoaster, it's a whole playground of emotions! 🎢 When things get tough, make them do the limbo – just let the bad times crawl on by. And as for the acceptable times? Well, let them have their own little hopscotch tournament! 🕺#EmotionalHopscotch"

, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Facebook this month:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be turning you into a poem.

48 shares on Discord this month:

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

21 shares on WeChat this month:

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

48 shares on Discord this month:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

16 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,872

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and inside… my grandmother’s meatloaf recipe.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

My recliner and I go way back.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Oh good. Another day.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Easy there, unsaved number.

Just landed via Threads:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Making waves on Facebook:

Being social sucks all my energy.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

Trending via Instagram:

Snow White and the seven dwarves of the menopause; Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

Trending via Reddit:

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

Breaking via Threads:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Just shared via Slack:

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴