Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,263

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I will be notified immediately.

Spotted on WeChat:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Seen just now on Threads:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

Going viral on Slack:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

Just shared via TikTok:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Trending via Instagram:

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

Going viral on Discord:

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

Going viral on Instagram:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah yes, the perfect plan for discovering secrets or inventing new ones! 🥃😂🤐

conversation, drink, fun, humor, much, party, say, socializing, too, whiskey

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

0

2 months ago

apparently, balls, frustration, humor, office, office humor, people, relief, stress, stress balls, stress relief, throwing, workplace
Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

0

2 months ago

email, every, gamble, humble, humility, humor, keep, me, mistakes, technology, typo, writing
Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

0

3 months ago

adult, being, bottle, daily, daily routine, day, every, forgetfulness, health, humor, i, looking, medication, pill, pill bottle, responsibility, routine, spending, take, wondering
I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

0

2 months ago

before, choices, decision, humor, i, know, me, never, risk, smart, stopped
Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

0

5 months ago

asleep, better, book, even, everyone, middle, nice, night, peaceful, quiet, reading, relaxation, sleep, solitude, therapy
After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

0

2 months ago

coffee, cup, drink, empty, empty cup, funny interaction, guy, humor, i, interaction, IT guy, Java, joke, me, programming, say, show, workplace, workplace humor

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

65 shares on X this month:

The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

What’s a positive thought for beginners? I’ve been getting into optimism lately.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Live now on X:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Just shared via TikTok:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Going viral on Slack:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

Seen just now on Discord:

I love my bed so much, what a place.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

Just shared via Instagram:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

Spotted on Messenger:

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨