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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I believe libraries are our proof that we once valued curiosity.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,669

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Alexa, mute my children.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Seen just now on Threads:

I have a very active anti-social life.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

Shared recently on Messenger:

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

Trending via Snapchat:

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

Going viral on Twitch:

Being depressed is so embarrassing. It’s like, look at me, guys. I have nothing positive to say, and I make everything miserable.

Making waves on Telegram:

Banana boats are powered by bananas. Everyone knows this.

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

1 month ago

Witty text offering a humorous life hack about sleeping when things go wrong.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Dreams don't judge you for hitting the snooze button on reality! 😴🤣

advice, coping, coping mechanism, humor, life, life tip, mechanism, nothing, right, sleep, tip

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Instagram this month:

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

59 shares on X this month:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

99 shares on Messenger this month:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

I’m a fully functional adult with the energy levels of a hibernating bear.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

I went from dancing with myself in the 80s to talking to myself now.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Becoming a DJ, but only because I like to impose my will and preferences upon the masses.

Shared recently on Instagram:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

Just shared via WeChat:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Spotted on Threads:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Just shared via WeChat:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Trending via TikTok:

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

Breaking via Reddit:

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨