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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

The only thing that could possibly put a smile on my face is a Sharpie.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

The algorithm knows about that thing you like that you’re denying yourself of.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Toxic girlfriend who goes through her boyfriend’s calculator app and asks why he’s doing the equations he’s doing.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,520

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

Going viral on Slack:

Good morning, did you have a nice weekend? I ask my many open work tabs.

Just shared via Discord:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Just shared via Instagram:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

Making waves on Messenger:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Shared recently on YouTube:

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

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Commentary:
Sounds like it's time to hire a GPS just for life's detours! 🚦😂🚗

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Instagram this month:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

Saying “You’re tearing this family apart” whenever someone argues with me.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

87 shares on WeChat this month:

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

63 shares on Facebook this month:

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

80 shares on Twitch this month:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

93 shares on Threads this month:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Hyphenated. Non-hyphenated. The irony.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone want to fall in love and split rent?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Really hate when I’m watching a movie, and I can see that they are acting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,374

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Slow blinking at my boss so he knows I want a raise.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

Spotted on Telegram:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

Making waves on Messenger:

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

Just shared via TikTok:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Spotted on X:

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

Just shared via Telegram:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Spotted on Messenger:

Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

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