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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I love Pinterest. No opinions. No bad vibes. Just pretty pictures.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,714

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

Just landed via Pinterest:

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

Shared recently on X:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

Seen just now on Threads:

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

This Dollar Tree energy drink has me seeing colors that aren’t available to the naked eye, yet.

Live now on Facebook:

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

Seen just now on Threads:

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

Trending via WeChat:

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

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Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.
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Commentary:
Sounds like it's time to hire a GPS just for life's detours! 🚦😂🚗

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on TikTok this month:

I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think I’m an idiot and won’t find out the truth.

98 shares on Discord this month:

ChatGPT is down right now and if you listen closely, you can hear millions of content creators screaming.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

33 shares on X this month:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

100 shares on Threads this month:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

He’s an everything bagel… I’m just a nothing burger…

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,444

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Seen just now on Instagram:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.

Live now on X:

Only difference between me and someone in a psych ward is I’m outside.

Going viral on YouTube:

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

Making waves on YouTube:

I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

Just shared via Facebook:

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

Spotted on X:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

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