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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Those eyes ain’t gonna roll itself, let me help you.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Pursuing an academic career is like thinking the stripper loves you.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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3,601

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Spotted on X:

I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

Trending via WeChat:

My favorite part about summer is when I get to go back inside where it’s air conditioned.

Freshly posted on Slack:

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

Live now on Reddit:

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

Lingerie under a trench coat is still on my bucket list, by the way.

8 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Witty text about daring fashion dreams, blending humor and playful ambition.

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Trench coat and lingerie combo: for when you want to be mysterious, but cozy 🕵️‍♀️👙🧥

bucket, bucket list, coat, daring, fashion, goal, humor, joke, lingerie, list, playful, still, trench, trench coat, under

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97 shares on Snapchat this month:

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

99 shares on X this month:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

50 shares on Telegram this month:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

Anime characters are always like “But you didn’t know about my eye,” and then they activate their mode.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

My ideal man is a kindhearted little freak.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Trending via Instagram:

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

Trending via Slack:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

Spotted on TikTok:

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

Just shared via Telegram:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

Spotted on YouTube:

Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?

Seen just now on YouTube:

I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

Seen just now on Instagram:

It’s our first time on Earth, so why are you a life coach?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Lingerie under a trench coat is still on my bucket list, by the way.

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

According to my skin, hair, lips, and hands, I am doing Dry January.

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

I love how a film can be life-changing for one person and boring for another.

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Lingerie under a trench coat is still on my bucket list, by the way.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

According to my skin, hair, lips, and hands, I am doing Dry January.

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

I love how a film can be life-changing for one person and boring for another.

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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