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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Being gracefully unhinged is the only way to get through the everyday bullshit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

463 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,732

Funny Quotes Topics

17,754

Funny Quotes Images

15,732

Updated

Jan 14, 2026

Users Online

3,687

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

Trending via Facebook:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

Shared recently on Slack:

Geopolitics for dudes is like pure sex. Almost like the male mind was built for this.

Spotted on Threads:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

Spotted on Snapchat:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

Spotted on Discord:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

Going viral on Facebook:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

Just landed via Threads:

You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

Just landed via TikTok:

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

Lingerie under a trench coat is still on my bucket list, by the way.

17 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trench coat and lingerie combo: for when you want to be mysterious, but cozy 🕵️‍♀️👙🧥

bucket, bucket list, coat, daring, fashion, goal, humor, joke, lingerie, list, playful, still, trench, trench coat, under

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I was meant to be rich, I can tell by the way I spend money.

3 months ago

finance, humor, i, lifestyle, meant, money, rich, self-awareness, spend, spending, tell
If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

2 months ago

ask, asked, due, humor, i, mean, people, pregnant, question, response, sarcasm, say
Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

3 months ago

expectation, flowers, gardening, humor, i, just, nature, poetry, red, romance, romantic, roses, roses are red, something, surprise
The Masters would be a lot more interesting if there were starving alligators roaming throughout the golf course.

2 months ago

alligator, competition, course, danger, golf, humor, interesting, Masters, wildlife
Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

3 months ago

animal, answering, cat, cats, communication, greeting, humor, Japanese, phone, pun
It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

2 months ago

fangs, floss, hard, humor, hygiene, irony, mirror, reflection, vampire

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on YouTube this month:

My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

99 shares on Slack this month:

Agriculture can’t possibly be a dying industry. Bot farms are booming.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

69 shares on X this month:

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

67 shares on X this month:

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

Going bananas on X:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Lingerie under a trench coat is still on my bucket list, by the way.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I was meant to be rich, I can tell by the way I spend money.

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

The Masters would be a lot more interesting if there were starving alligators roaming throughout the golf course.

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨