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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

104 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,809

Funny Quotes Topics

15,440

Funny Quotes Images

12,809

36 minutes ago

3,470

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Just drank a big glass of water, and I regret to inform you, they might be right about hydration.

Just shared via Threads:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Making waves on Instagram:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Trending via Messenger:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

Trending via Facebook:

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

Making waves on Discord:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

Breaking via X:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

Jan 26, 2025

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

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Commentary:
Ah, LinkedIn, the virtual networking jungle gym where your once-a-drinking buddy transforms into a potential job fairy godparent 🧚‍♂️🍸. Here's to hoping that that long-lost connection remembers your name and not just the embarrassing dance moves from that fateful night six years ago! 🕺💼 #NetworkingWoes #JobSearchStruggles

ago, desperation, drink, help, hope, humor, idiot, job, LinkedIn, networking, past, six, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

104 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,809

Funny Quotes Topics

15,440

Funny Quotes Images

12,809

36 minutes ago

3,466

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Wonder if I should do something with my life, or kind of just continue to hang out.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

Spotted on Threads:

Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

Going viral on Messenger:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Just shared via Reddit:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

Just shared via Threads:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Making waves on Threads:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’ve taken a long, hard look at myself. I won’t be doing that again.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I overthink, therefore I am.

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