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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

782 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,944

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,944

43 minutes ago

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Asking people their favorite color and then calling them liars.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

Trending via TikTok:

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

Trending via Twitch:

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

Reported on Telegram:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Live now on Threads:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

6 months ago

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

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Commentary:
Ah, LinkedIn, the virtual networking jungle gym where your once-a-drinking buddy transforms into a potential job fairy godparent 🧚‍♂️🍸. Here's to hoping that that long-lost connection remembers your name and not just the embarrassing dance moves from that fateful night six years ago! 🕺💼 #NetworkingWoes #JobSearchStruggles

ago, desperation, drink, help, hope, humor, idiot, job, LinkedIn, networking, past, six, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

782 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,944

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,944

43 minutes ago

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Going viral on Instagram:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Very difficult being a full grown adult with a terrible fear of being “in trouble”.

Shared recently on Slack:

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

Trending via WeChat:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Seen just now on X:

I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

Just shared via Twitch:

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

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