Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs a crowd when you've got a family size Toblerone as your loyal companion? 🍫✨ It's time to dive into chocolatey goodness and indulge in a one-on-one sweet escape! 🍫🕺 #chocolateoverdose #TobleroneLove"

dessert, family, humor, indulgence, just, loneliness, looks, me, night, size, snack, Toblerone, tonight

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

0

2 months ago

escape, escape room, frustration, hard, humor, joke, manager, me, office, office humor, room, work, workplace
Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

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2 months ago

art, beauty, body, butt, human, human butt, humor, natural, natural beauty, nature, sometimes, tree, trees, waterfall
When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

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2 months ago

affection, dating, gifts, hoarding, humor, i, nuts, relationship, romance, squirrel, start, woman
Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

0

2 months ago

family, gap, generation, generation gap, got, grandparent, grandparents, humor, lose, McDonald’s, money, parent, parents, sense, senses, sudden
Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

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4 months ago

beat, erection, fight, humor, joke, morning
Just took off my daytime sweatpants and put on my nighttime sweatpants.

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15 hours ago

casualwear, clothing, comfort, daytime, humor, just, nighttime, put, sweatpant, sweatpants

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Discord this month:

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

25 shares on X this month:

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

78 shares on X this month:

Discord is only good for calling friends on the computer. Please do not waste your time getting caught up in random servers.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Don’t put words in my mouth—that’s where the hot dogs go.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

Shared recently on X:

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

Making waves on Facebook:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

Spotted on Threads:

Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

Just landed via Discord:

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

Spotted on Telegram:

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

Just took off my daytime sweatpants and put on my nighttime sweatpants.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨