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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,634

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Spotted on Slack:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Just landed via Discord:

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

Breaking via Slack:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

Just shared via YouTube:

People that ask Grok “Is this true” are the reason our society is getting dumber by the minute.

Going viral on Messenger:

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

Freshly posted on X:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

Just shared via Facebook:

Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Major cheat code in life: ask for the big, unreasonable thing. The universe meets you at your level of audacity.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, ask for a yacht. The universe might just hand you a paddle! 🚤🍋😄

ambition, ask, audacity, big, boldness, cheat, cheat code, code, level, life, major, request, thing, universe

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

5 months ago

actually, cooking, food, fried, frying, good, humor, pretty, taste, vegetable, vegetables
Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

2 months ago

days, giving, humor, life, marine, marine life, observation, opinion, silence, time, weeks, whale
Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

2 months ago

adventure, alcohol, drinks, fun, humor, looking, outside, ride, skateboard
In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

2 weeks ago

academic, emotional, emotionally, financial, life, struggle, student, student life, three, university
When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

4 months ago

causing, choice, choices, diet, health, humor, lifestyle, mad, stomach, stomachache, sure, unhealthy, unhealthy lifestyle, upset, upset stomach
“What’s your blood type?” I don’t know, boiling!

5 months ago

blood, blood type, boiling, funny response, humor, i, joke, know, medical, medical question, question, response, type

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Discord this month:

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”

48 shares on WeChat this month:

Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

40 shares on Threads this month:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

97 shares on Slack this month:

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m sick of living through history!

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Life is short, flirt with me!

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

Breaking via Discord:

Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.

Live now on WeChat:

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

Just landed via X:

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

Making waves on Telegram:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Live now on Facebook:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Going viral on Threads:

Nosferatu 2024, Frankenstein 2025, and Werwulf 2026. I was born at exactly the right time.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Major cheat code in life: ask for the big, unreasonable thing. The universe meets you at your level of audacity.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

“What’s your blood type?” I don’t know, boiling!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨