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Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

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Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

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The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

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Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

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One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

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To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

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I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.