Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?