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Commentary:
"Ah, the peak of financial foresight! 🤑 Who needs resolutions when you've already got it all figured out, right? 😂 Here's to wealth management at its finest! 💸 #LivingLarge #FinancialGenius"

before, brag, comfort, enough, financial, financial security, humor, i, irony, live, living, me, money, new, new year, planning, rest, security, week, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

0

2 months ago

animal, conspiracy, coo, government, humor, overthrow, pigeon, plot, plotting, satire, start
I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

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2 months ago

activity, attention, dress, exercise, fun, fun activity, humor, i, jog, need, self-expression, unexpected, unique, web, wedding, wedding dress
I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

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3 months ago

alone, bad, ball, company, enjoy, enjoyment, feel, feeling, feeling bad, fun, having, having fun, i, myself, own, self, self company, self enjoyment
“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

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2 months ago

advice, am, humor, i, life, little, motivation, procrastination, sarcasm, something, squandering, thing
Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

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2 months ago

big, celebration, day, dogs, doorbell, excitement, Halloween, lose, love, pets, reaction, rings, shit
So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

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2 months ago

excel, feel, humor, i, irony, joke, office, once, productivity, spreadsheet, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Threads this month:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

91 shares on Slack this month:

My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

53 shares on X this month:

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

36 shares on X this month:

Took a break from Twitter for my mental health, so I’d figure I’d come back to ruin it again.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

91 shares on Slack this month:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

84 shares on X this month:

No matter how busy my Sunday gets, I always manage to set aside time to panic about Monday.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel booking website.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

Trending via TikTok:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

Shared recently on Slack:

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

Trending via WhatsApp:

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

Spotted on Facebook:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

Trending via Discord:

I need a day off from myself.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

Seen just now on Slack:

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨