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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,685

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Trending via Slack:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Just landed via WeChat:

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

Breaking via WeChat:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Going viral on Slack:

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Guess that's why they never run out of room for bold new ideas 😂👖✨"

audacity, bigger, carry, fashion, fashion joke, gender, gender stereotype, help, humor, jeans, joke, men’s, men’s jeans, pocket, pocket size, pockets, size, stereotype

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

0

2 months ago

communication, confusion, home, home inquiry, humor, inquiry, irony, question
Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

0

2 months ago

blocked, blocking, correcting, correction, great, humor, irony, just, media, mistakes, satisfaction, social, social media, someone, spelling
I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

0

4 months ago

age, enough, humor, internet, nostalgia, old, regular, remember, usability, website, websites
Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

0

5 months ago

account, bank, bank account, cash, character, close, finance, game, hedgehog, humor, keep, me, money, saving, sonic, Sonic the Hedgehog, video, video game character
Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

0

4 months ago

architect, experience, gap, hell, humor, i, oh, own, resume, self-deprecation, work, work experience
Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

0

2 months ago

burn, burn manuscript, creativity, deleting, deleting tweet, humor, manuscript, media, self-editing, social, social media, tweet, Twitter, writer

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Threads this month:

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

41 shares on Slack this month:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

Just landed via Threads:

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Today, I used a wire I’ve kept in my box of cables since 2011. Please applaud.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

Spotted on Threads:

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

Going viral on WeChat:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Freshly posted on X:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Just landed via TikTok:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨