Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,624

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

Life is too short, and death is too long.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Just landed via X:

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

Seen just now on Threads:

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

Going viral on TikTok:

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

Seen just now on Slack:

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

Going viral on TikTok:

Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home.

Making waves on X:

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When mom goes full CIA on dust particles and socks, yet we're all suspects 🕵️‍♀️🧹🧦🔍

around, ceiling, chore, cleaning, family, help, here, household, household chore, humor, me, mom, organization, rack, say, sock, socks, spice, spice rack, vacuum

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

0

2 months ago

cooky, diet, diet pill, eat, eating, food, help, humor, i, loss, nervous, pill, push, push down, stick, struggle, throat, weight, weight loss
You look like something I drew with my left hand.

0

2 months ago

appearance, art, drawing, funny appearance, hand, humor, i, insult, left, left hand, self-deprecation
The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

0

2 months ago

home, homeless, humor, i, longer, stay
Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

0

2 months ago

always, back, crush, humor, people, relationships
Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

0

2 months ago

empath, exploded, explosion, head, humor, just, reaction, walking
Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

0

5 months ago

being, bi, bisexual, both, bruh, expression, humor, identity, means, reaction, say, slang, yay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

54 shares on Slack this month:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

I feel like smashing my phone would be cathartic.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

I need a day off from myself.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

If you’ve never been hit with gay allegations, you’re not fly enough.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

68 shares on Slack this month:

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

I personally get offended when rain is referred to as “bad weather.”

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

Just landed via Messenger:

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Seen just now on Slack:

Meow means woof in cat.

Just landed via Facebook:

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

Breaking via Reddit:

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

Spotted on Twitch:

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨