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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

My only goal in life is to never end up on a Netflix documentary.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,631

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Please stop fighting with each other on the internet and start fighting with each other in real life. Life is short.

Spotted on WeChat:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

Just landed via Twitch:

Everyone is getting idioter.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

Just shared via Reddit:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Just shared via Twitch:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Just landed via TikTok:

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

Live now on TikTok:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Going viral on Telegram:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

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My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.
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Commentary:
"Stick shift: confounding thieves since forever! 🚗💡😆"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Reddit this month:

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

26 shares on Facebook this month:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

37 shares on TikTok this month:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

60 shares on Threads this month:

Welcome to college, where every single person is smarter than you, except for the three people in your group project.

92 shares on X this month:

Adulting is getting excited to go home and get into bed.

87 shares on Threads this month:

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

8 folks are currently checking 👀

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,546

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Making waves on Instagram:

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

Going viral on Messenger:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

Just shared via Threads:

How is it still this week?

Just landed via TikTok:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Just shared via Slack:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Making waves on Telegram:

With my staggering 91% survival rate, you’d be a fool to hire another dog sitter.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

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