Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I love when my friends have quiet boyfriends. Like, girl, your dog is so good, sis.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Sometimes I delete a post because I remember I’m too old for it.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,610

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Going viral on YouTube:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

Trending via Slack:

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Shared recently on Slack:

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Just landed via YouTube:

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

Live now on WhatsApp:

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

Making waves on Slack:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Going viral on Telegram:

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

My big 3? Yapping, napping & snacking!

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the holy trinity of existence: Yapping to keep things lively, napping to recharge, and snacking for eternal happiness! 🗣️💤🍿"

3, activity, big, fun, fun activity, hobby, humor, napping, relaxation, snacking, yapping

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

0

2 months ago

adventure, asked, curiosity, curiosity-driven, decision, exploration, fantasy, front, humor, ID, me, portal, questions
If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

0

2 months ago

browser, calculator, embarrassing, history, humor, technology
My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

0

2 months ago

direction, drunk, gardening, growing, humor, nature, plant, silliness
I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

0

2 months ago

excitement, humor, i, last, lottery, money, night, peasants, scratch-off, win
I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

0

2 months ago

attractive, confidence, dating, every, finds, humor, i, me, self-esteem, someone, still, sure, surprise, time
‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

0

2 months ago

avocado, cancelling, excuse, favorite, home, i, plans, ripe

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on YouTube this month:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

78 shares on Threads this month:

Wake me when AI does housework.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

I wish I got hotter every time a man made me mad.

20 shares on Discord this month:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I wish laying in bed all day made me rich.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Making waves on X:

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

Shared recently on Facebook:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My big 3? Yapping, napping & snacking!

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨