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I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

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I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

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I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

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Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

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My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

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A selfie only a mother could like.

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Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

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I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

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Petition to lower the retirement age. Iโ€™m tired now.

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The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

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My big 3? Yapping, napping & snacking!

My big 3? Yapping, napping & snacking!

Commentary:
"Ah, the holy trinity of existence: Yapping to keep things lively, napping to recharge, and snacking for eternal happiness! ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ๐Ÿ’ค๐Ÿฟ"



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