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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Summer is the time when it’s too hot to do what it was too cold to do in winter.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

805 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,967

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,967

15 minutes ago

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

Going viral on Snapchat:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Making waves on Twitch:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

Seen just now on TikTok:

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

4 months ago

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'nap position' – a state of perpetual relaxation 🛌 Sounds like your body just refuses to commit to any form of fitness! It's all about that elastic band life, stretching out and bouncing back 🔄💪 Maybe your body's secretly training for the Olympics in napping… Gold medal dreams in snoozing, coming right up! 🥇😂"

back, band, body, elastic, elastic band, humor, i, matter, nap, position, relaxation, stretch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

805 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,967

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,967

15 minutes ago

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by “You complete me.”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

Spotted on Slack:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

Going viral on Facebook:

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

Trending via Reddit:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

Just landed via Threads:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

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